Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
