She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
