3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize