People with herpes should wear stickers.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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