sorry about calling you the devil all night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
