why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
