i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
