for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I fill condoms, not promises.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
