Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
