Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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