Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize