Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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