I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
