So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
