i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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