sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
