This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
