Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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