so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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