distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
