So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
