Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
