Say something about gay babies.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You had me at "let me see your balls"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
