Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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