That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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