His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
