I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
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When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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