Will you blow on my dice?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
