I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
