wanna go halves on a baby?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
