Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
