whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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