I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
