I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
