Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
