My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
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Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
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I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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