I am in a vortex of obligation.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
