I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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