I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
