We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
