Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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