he puts the penis in happiness.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
