His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
