no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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