Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
