So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
