The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
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I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
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Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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