theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
