dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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