im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
