No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
