She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There r osticjed everywhere
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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