Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you traded sex for a burrito?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize