thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
