just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
