Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize