I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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