Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
