I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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