im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
